Glee Thinks You're Lucky You're In Love

This week's episode was rightfully and not confusingly titled "Duets," and consisted of a competition between the Glee Club-bers as to who could perform the best duet, the prize being dinner for two at Breadstix, a thinly veiled reference to Olive Garden with its never-ending salads and breadsticks (Santana: "It's, like, illegal for them to stop giving you breadsticks. One time I brought a wheelbarrow to fill up and when they made a fuss, I called corporate and got them fired."). Overall, the episode was successful because it not only included a great song selection, but that it was a theme episode that wasn't forced on us like Artie was forced to lose his virginity. But how did some of the characters fare overall?

Rachel & Finn: B+
Rachel and Finn are still going strong romantically, and decided to be altruistic this week by throwing the competition. Although, as Finn pointed out, they did this solely so that Sam-I-Am could win the duet competition and feel better about himself so he'll stay with Glee Club. So they scrap their delightful "Don't Go Breaking My Heart," in favor of "With You I'm Born Again," a pretty terrible song made worse by their costumes- pretending to be a school girl and a priest (pictured, hilariously, above) in love generally doesn't win you points in the awesome category. But they were cute when they tried to hide their shock at losing the competition.

Brittany & Santana: D
Ouch. After essentially dumping Brittany after twelve hours of celibacy with Puck in juvi (about time, but what's up with that? THEY NEED PUCK, OKAY?), Santana aims to be one of the two baddest bitches in the school by teaming up with Mercedes in a jaw-droppingly amazing cover of "River Deep, Mountain High." Brittany, on the other hand, decides to go after a vulnerable Artie, and they quickly start "dating" for about three days before Brittany takes Artie's virginity to help him get over Tina and he breaks up with her, both in life and Glee Club, telling her that something as simple to her (sex) is complicated and special to him, since after his accident he didn't know if he'd ever be able to have sex. It's a bittersweet scene, especially when Brittany tells Artie she wanted them to win so they could share an extra long piece of spaghetti á la Lady and the Tramp, and that she had even practiced moving a meatball around with her nose.

Quinn & Sam: A-
AWWW, these two are so cute! I love them and their blonde hair and her big eyes and his big mouth. It was also nice to see the shy side of Quinn, the side in which she's damaged from her pregnancy, her season 1 romances, and her fall from grace like Satan. Ugh, they're just so cute I can hardly stand it, and "Lucky" was really good, too. You can tell Sam is trying really hard, and that's what makes it so endearing. Also, Sam really does dye his hair! You can never fool Kurt.

Kurt: B
Kurt, like Quinn, is damaged goods, but in a different way- he ruined his father's relationship with Finn's mother, he professed his love to Finn in an inappropriate way, and now he has to deal with the consequences. He's lonely, too, which makes it hard to watch- who doesn't want Kurt to find a soulmate and be happy? He did a heartbreakingly good cover of "Le Jazz Hot" from Victor/Victoria as a duet with Harvey Dent/Two-Face-esque costume. And, in the end, he realized that it's okay to be alone, but that having friends is even nicer, as he and Rachel's "Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy" mash-up  shows.

Oh, yeah, and Mike Chang "sang." Overall, and the internet seems to agree with me, this was a good episode hopefully to get Glee out of its theme rut.

Politics Continues to Resemble Dan Brown Novels

After that whole exciting escapade in July with the Russian spies in New York (recently name-dropped in Gossip Girl, so you know it is dead), the whole finding sexy Russian spies in America thing kind of died out. Until it came out that there was a whole money laundering scheme based in New York. Pictured left, coed Kristina Svechinskaya, 21, is the new Anna Chapman. She's an Eastern European girl over here on a student visa. She was part of an 80 member hacking ring that managed to create a computer virus that relocated $9 million into other accounts from businesses and bank customers. Svechinskaya managed herself to siphon $35,000 dollars. New York magazine reports that she showed up in court crying and in skin-tight jeans, asking the question on everyone's mind- "But is Kristina SEXY enough to become a star?"

In other science fiction novel news, a computer worm is currently ravaging the computers in Iranian nuclear plants, stalling all development in the enrichment of uranium. The computer worm is called Stuxtnet, and the Iranians working on a resolution to the conflict claim that, not only is the worm foreign born, but it also appears to be from Israel, due to a name located deep inside the worm's code. The New York Times can explain it with the appropriate drama:

Deep inside the computer worm that some specialists suspect is aimed at slowing Iran’s race for a nuclear weapon lies what could be a fleeting reference to the Book of Esther, the Old Testament tale in which the Jews pre-empt a Persian plot to destroy them.

While Israel, at the moment, is the most likely candidate for Most Evil Country, it is also possible the worm originated from any country with their sniper rifles on Iran's pretty head, including the United States. Or, in some M. Night Shyamalan-esque (back when he was still good) twist, it could have been created by Iran to have an excuse to target Israel even more than usual. But that is a little too much like a Bond film for comfort.

So, Dan Brown, when you are ready to write a new novel, just open up a newspaper.